Get your coat, I've got a knife.

Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

What does the Jewish man and the Atheist have in common? They both believe in a god. Except the Atheist.

I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

What is funnier than 9 black fellas dead in a trashbin? 1 black fella dead in 9 trashbins.

What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

What do you call a cow in the grass... A cow in the grass... Dumbas*

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

YOLO

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

Y did a fat woman cross the rode? To get to McDonalds

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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