Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

How do you make a clown cry? You kill his family and chop off his legs.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

Why did the boy have a tumor? Because he had cancer.

Dick spice

The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

Why was Timmy sad?

What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

Whats worse then failing ur English test? Getting hit by a train

A guy and a girl look at a dog licking his crotch and the guy utters "damn I wish I could do that" The girl says: I can totally do that! "really? prove it" the guy says. The girl walks towards the dog and says "you just need to pet him so he don't bite you"

whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

What's the difference between babies and butter? You can't pitchfork butter.

Kenneth kaniff takes his hat off then he meets cosmic panda with kevin the zebra because chuck norris ate a chili pepper.

What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

69

stop it ryan vallee

A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...