What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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b

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Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

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What's yellow and if it gets in your eye, you'll die? a yellow train.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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Q: why did a sanke have a rattle A: it was born wiith it

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops