Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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A man carrying a bucket of golf clubs walks into a bar with a blonde, a brunette, and an asian. His name was Tiger Woods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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