What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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