Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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