What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Theres two things i hate in this world... racists . . . and black people

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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Yo mamma is so dumb, she bought a Wii and was satisfied with her purchase

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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why does the man appear fat he is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops