There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what does a jet and plane have in common? the letter "e"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

This is not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, and violets are freakin violet. Not blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

thumb_up thumb_down +12

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops