Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops