'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

What do you call a black person born in America? American.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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