One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's brown and slimy? brown slime

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo momma so fat she decided to have lipo suction

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

thumb_up thumb_down -9

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"...."-Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: How man Jews can you fit in a box? A:if your German than you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops