My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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9/11

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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