"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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What does the Post Office have in common with a shoe store? Both provide goods and services in exchange for money.

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Q: What do you call a black person who got hit by a truck? A: Dead

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Why did a jew die? It got killed by a nazi.

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops