Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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I walk into a bar...

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What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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why are anti-jokes so funny? Because you are expecting them to encompass one idea of irony, but instead sometimes give a logical explanation to the question.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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