What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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