Q: How do you get a one armed Pollock out of a tree? A: Call the fire department.

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Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

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Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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Cnorris can carry very heavy objects

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Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

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A scottish man having fun

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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