What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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What is the black stuff between elephants toes? Slow natives

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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What is the differnece between the chair and the pot? You can't cook in the chair.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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The diamond one below is hilarious.

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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whats the same about a red crayon and a blue crayon? there both the same color except for the blue one

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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