Dane Cook makes a joke.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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What did the anorexic order for dinner? Nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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What did the doctor say to the man on the nice day? You have cancer. How nice the day was is irrelevant

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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Poop

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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quantum physics?

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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