What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

Chuck Norris is dead......

Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

Yo Mama's so fat that she is at risk for diabetes

What's long and hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber

Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

whats the difference from a jew and a christian the jew got arrested for rape

Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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