What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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call me maybe.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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