You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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a one fingered leper was sitting one day on the beach playing cards. When a stranger asked to play,hide and go seak. well the oner finger leper licked his invisible finger and said "which ways the winds blowing pete. .-poot-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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What has stripes, isn't a virgin, and has golden hands? I don't know I asked you first.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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call me maybe.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops