What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

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what is red, white, and spins around real fast? a baby in a washing machine

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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what happens when steven hawking walks into a bar? everyone cheers at the miracle of science.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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What's worse than rain on your birthday? Dying

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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Y did the first squarl fall out of the tree? It died Y did the 2nd squarl fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Y did the 3rd squarl fall out of the tree? Peer presure. Why did bobby fall off his bike? He got hit by 3 squarls Y did bobby die? He got run over by a truck:)

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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my mind's eye?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops