Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead.

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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