Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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bologna

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A kid a jew and a child molester walk into a room . what happens next? Nothing there in a room.

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? The extinction of the human species.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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9/11

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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