what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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Why did the boat sink I shot a missile at it

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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