What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Q: Why are Cats called Lolcat? A: They forgot to put "i" between l & c

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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