What do you call a person that smells like shite and chases uglier girls than him? .. . . . . . . .. . . . . . Smelly McD the smelly cunt

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So these two girls have a cup .

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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A lot eh?

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Then none of us want to be right.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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Why did the girl have an abortion? Because she wanted a burger.

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you give like i give lomain

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Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Thats malarious! When something is so funny that... malaria

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

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Vaginal secretions

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops