21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

http://api.solvemedia.com/papi/media?c=2@4kVxPaRsBr6xmKYFf1AWrnUekZ5Qm16e@VS0Tc9Os5q8ENU8bgrSzdX9APTC4lJjowvMEvv53MnevBtoOvXkqvmo6q3GRjryi4pBIcsYECoiZmERhCMm3t7otsPlwyu31uNcluNyw3UKXeBeML2ZQF3X3Wfs3WC6Cdp-lOv-Y0fRdSiML4k2yPqmVJrbT.a9hCr0BoWsRJvq7n7aejLjOmz3h3eZDdwJaN54pFV-QOvO5sQ5wVZlVq-2yi9hMbBbb213AoVTT7vLIhTq0xcBFvtuMdWdS2jn2ActORr3W16MmSEVcgrS6gA;w=300;h=150;fg=ffffff;bg=5d216b

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

thumb_up thumb_down -6

3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't helen keller drive a car? Because she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a blonde and a brunet are in an elevator. a man walks in the brunet says to the blonde "he has dandruff, he needs head and shoulders.' then the blonde says "we can give him head, but how can we give him shoulders."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How long does it take for light to travel a light-year ? A year.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops