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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... So he didn't get Mono from Janelle.

2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

Why is my brother so bad at making anti jokes cuz HE HAS a sense of humor

Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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