What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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How do you kill a fish? You bite off its head.

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Where do you find a ocean with no water. on a map. thumbs up for great jokes. please

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Click here for free sandwich.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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I took my father out last night. We went to the Olive Garden.

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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What did the chicken say when it layed the square egg? Ouch.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops