Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Well, a pizza is edible object provided for human consumption, and a jew is a holy human being believing in the prophet abraham.

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Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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Q: What did Bob want for dinner? A: Cheese Burger, Fries, Coke, No Beverage

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. Later, he beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later concluded that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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i dont fisish anythi

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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