- Anti Joke

what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

How do you judge a black person? By the content of their character.

hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

You wanna see something really scary?

Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

Q. How do you make your neighbor mad? A. Run his kids over.

What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: BANG!

This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

Whats Brown and fluffy ASIAN TITS

I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

Knock, knock. Who's there? Me, your friend George! You don't remember me! Oh. Sorry. I'm kidding. I'm a robber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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