Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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My mother in law fell down a wishing well, i was amazed, i never new they actually worked

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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Patient: Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Doctor: That's because you are. Patient: Wow, I need to lay off the mushrooms.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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