Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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True or fales? Eddie Izzard.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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