What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

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A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

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poopy is poopy

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A cop

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Justin Beiber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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