A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops