Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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Your mam is so fat.

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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salad days!

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke....? A pig rolling in mud!

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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Question: What do you call the black guy wearing a white shirt? Answer: Steve. His parents game him the name at birth, and he is called that ever since.

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Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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