what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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why did the man fall? cuz he jumped from a building

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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How do you know a black person is in your house? You see him in your house.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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