A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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http://www.com/

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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