why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

If your reading this, youre not blind.

Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

Q: what does a worm and a fish have in common? A: they are both a worm, apart from the fish

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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