the awkward moment when you kill everyone in school and blame it on the fat kid

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

Knock Knock who's there? ... who's there?!?!?! ... WHO'S THERE ?!?!?!? ... stupid kids.

Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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