How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what good about eatting every night knowing that a african want

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

thumb_up thumb_down -31

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What do you call a room full of black people? A: A Social Gathering.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than Gordon Brown's face? George Bush.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: What happens when eight men throw purple at a rain coat? A: Mud-flaps, because electricity can't power a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the housewife become a farmer? Because the kitchen was burned down in a horrific accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops