Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy Wuzzy had cancer.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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