what kind of dog can tiptoe

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a person and one is an inanimate object

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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Why couldn't the horse open the door? - Because it was locked...Beeeeeeeeeeeeeef Jelly

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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There are 2 muffins in an oven One of the muffins says to the other 'Jeez it's hot in here' Then the other muffin replied, 'OH MY GOD IT'S A FRICKEN TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Why didn't the man laugh at his son's joke? Because he was born without a mouth.

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When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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How long does it take for a dead baby to explode in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy masterbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops