What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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A dog walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "What can I get for you?" The dog replies "1 beer please." shocked at the dogs English the bartender sprints out of the bar in terror

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She was dead.

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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How do you make Bill Gates poor? You take all of his money

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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Yo mama so fat.

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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I put the word **** in a post. Anti Joke starred it and the joke didn't make sense anymore.

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Why could the penguin not fly? It was shot in the wing.

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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