Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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Why did the portuguese fisherman take out a $20,000 loan with a reknown loan shark at exorbitant interest rates? He needed to buy a kidney on the black market for his drug addicted daughter who had also destroyed his credit score meaning he coudln't get a loan from the usual credit facilities such as banks and credit unions.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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7 chickens ran down the road. One ate a spider. He is now the fattest chicken.

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Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

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Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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4 gay men walked into a bar. it was a gay bar. all 4 men had a good time

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Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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