Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

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Knock knock. who's there? your dead cat, here you go.

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How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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An Englishman walks into a bar.

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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rarw

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops