what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Guy 1: Why did Captain Hook die? Guy 2: Because he wiped his anus with a hook? Guy 1: No, because everyone dies.

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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What do you call a quadriplegic person in the water? One should refer to them by their name, but seeing as a quadriplegic person would be incapable of swimming if you do see a quadriplegic person in a body of water you should seek help or call emergency services.

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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Do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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What is similar between the Holocaust and soccer? They both suck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops