Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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Why did the girl miss her date? She got killed.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops