What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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I had a submarine.... once

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diarrhea.

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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baloney sandwich

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Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

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Antoni Wilkinsin

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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knock knock. Whos there? YELLOW PEOPLE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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