Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What did the little boy get on christmas morning? Cancer.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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How did the Jewish husband and stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Why was Armando unable to be found by his friend Ashley ? A: They both were murdered 7 years ago, and bodies are unable to do anything if they lost their soul that was with that body.

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

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a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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